Swedish Rites of Passage - The Summer House

I'm starting a new series here at The Accidental Swede called 'Swedish Rites of Passage'. Each time I pass a Swedish rites of passage milestone - by participating in activities and events that are quintessentially Swedish and bring me that much closer to 'Swedehood' - I'll be sharing my experiences with you.

One such rite of passage is the Swedish summer cottage. I've never known so many people to own summer cottages - known as the sommarstuga - in my life. It is truly a Swedish phenomenon! Many of them are family owned and passed down from one generation to the next. And while some of them are quaint single-room cabins with no modern facilities (that means indoor toilets), others have been expanded to resemble nothing short of a year-round modern home for 10 people! If you are really lucky, you are the offspring of generations past who built their summer cottage on the coast or one of the hundreds of islands just off the coast of Sweden.

Now, in the land of summer cottage ownership, I single-handedly found the one man in Sweden who's family does not own a summer cottage. If you knew the odds of that happening, you'd really be shaking your head now. So we find ourselves at the mercy of our kind and good friends to partake in this rite of passage.

In my 10 years here, we've had three such wonderfully Swedish opportunities. The first time was a lovely family summer cottage in Smögen on Sweden's west coast. With picturesque fishing huts and a uniquely smooth-stone coastline, it was a great initiation into this Swedish rite of passage...although I was in that 'I just had my first baby and don't quite have all my wits about me yet' fog. So apart from the photos, I must admit I don't remember too much about it at all. Pity. The 2nd time was in Fjällbacka, a lovely town also on Sweden's west coast and summer home of legendary actress Ingrid Bergman (pronounced berry-man in Swedish). It was a lovely time that included a 'scraped knees' incident that our friends will never let us live down.

And that brings us to our recent stay with friend's at their 'family cottage', again on Sweden's west coast (often referred to as Sweden's best coast). This was one of those summer cottages that is really more like a house by any other terms. And they've even split it down the middle so that more of their families can enjoy the space (that's how big it was). We were just north of Grebbestad, and right smack dab on the coastline! We had just enough time to say hello and hug our hosts before our breath was taken away by the view beyond.

We went on to have a great mini-vacation with boating to the rocky islands off the coast, rock hopping, exploring, and scavenging for really old junk washed up on the island shores (a big thanks to Andreas for not rolling his eyes at me when I loaded up the boat with my treasures which included a sizeable driftwood log and part of an old door that still had the front handle and lock box attached).

So now that I have stayed in a Swedish summer cottage right on the coast, I feel secure in knowing that I have indeed come through this rite of passage and am now on the other side.

With that, I'll leave you with a little visual goodness.

A HUGE thanks to Dale Miller - the smartest person I know (I seriously doubt he relies on Google like I do) - for gently pointing out to me that my original 'rights of passage' used a million times in this post should actually be 'rites of passage'. Edited! Remember that "I had a baby" fog I referred to earlier? Yeah. I still try to use that one even today. Not successfully.

Until next time...

Michael

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Finding Friendly Swedish People

I found them! I finally found the open and social Swedes! They're all staying at the Hällestrand Resort on Sweden's west coast!

If you're an expat living in Sweden, you are already packing your bags to go have a look and experience it for yourself. You know what I'm talking about.

For those of you that are shaking your heads in wonderment, it goes a little something like this. One of the most difficult things for us 'foreigners' moving to Sweden is the absence of an 'open arms' welcome wagon. In fact, breaking through the Swedish social network proves to be one of the most challenging tests of 'making it' in Sweden. I've been here 10 1/2 years and still can't say that I've made it.

Now don't get me wrong, I've made friends who are Swedish - mostly through work or my immediate neighbors. But I'm talking about the kind of socializing where you don't have to know someone to smile and say 'hi' as you pass them on the street. Or the kind of socializing where you can strike up a conversation about nothing with someone you don't know while standing in line at the grocery store / bank / bus stop. It's the kind of socializing where you don't have to schedule 2 weeks in advance to stop by a friend's house for tea or coffee. The kind of socializing where you invite your neighbor over for an impromptu BBQ and they head over within minutes (without feeling obligated to bring a gift!). Neighborhood garage sales? Forget it! Garage sales don't exist over here.

In the beginning, the closed vibe of the Swedish society and the lack of social interaction just feels rude. But eventually you come to learn that it isn't rudeness, it's just a cultural thing. A culture that is composed and slow to show emotion. It's a guarded culture - a culture where you have a few really close friends that you grow up with...and that's really all you need for life. Where does that leave us foreigners? On the outside!

Now, back to where this post started. I found the open and social Swedish people (ok, some were Norwegian, but nevertheless!)! We took a mini-vacation to a small seaside resort up the west coast of Sweden. We'd never heard of Hällestrand Resort, and ended up there on a whim decision, taking advantage of a special offer. I'll never again be able to say that Swedish people aren't social. I experienced open hospitality there like I've never experienced it before in my 10 1/2 years in Sweden! Everyone was happy. Everyone was smiling. Everyone talked with each other. Kids were running back and forth between the different cabins. Ice cream was bought for our kids by others. Plans were made to meet for activities like crab fishing. S'mores were shared with others on the beach. We enjoyed great conversation and next thing we know there's dinner set down in front of us.

For my friends back in the U.S. who are reading this, you're probably thinking, "What's the big deal? Sounds like a normal weekend here." But trust me, this is a BIG DEAL! I feel like I've experienced a revelation - a new hope for socialized living in Sweden. Of course if it only comes once a year, and we have to go to Hällestrand each year to get it - then so be it! It will be well worth it.

I want to give a special thanks to two families for breaking the mold and providing us with the most welcoming hospitality:
Thomas - Katarina - Hugo - Filippa
and
Märtha - Glenn - Olivia

You don't know how much your openness and friendliness meant to me. For once, I actually felt like I was 'on the inside' in Sweden. And for that, I thank you!

Until next time...
Mike



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